Reflecting on my 'class meetings' and life lessons
by Jen Camp, Staff Writer
May 4 , 2010
After a year of watching and listening to our “bullying” meetings, I have come to the conclusion that, at this time, our meetings are ineffective to stopping bullying in the upper grades.
But I just don’t want to complain here. I will offer my solution to this problem. Instead of holding bullying meetings, about every week or so why don’t we allow some seniors or juniors talk to groups of younger kids to tell them about their bullying experiences. These talks would serve to let these children know about the effects of bullying, some of them long-term effects that follow even years after the bullying is over and done with.
“They say” time heals all wounds, but I have found out in my life that some scars, most of them from bullying in schools, don’t ever heal. We must teach our younger generations that if we don’t bully others, then maybe we can stop this vicious cycle of bullying in schools and make school more enjoyable for everyone.
Imagine being a young child who doesn’t want to go to school every day because you are too afraid that when you do go all that will happen is that you will get made fun of. Imagine you are that child when recess comes along and all the other kids are out playing. You sit up by the teacher on the blacktop because that’s where you feel safe.
I don’t have to imagine that scenario because the young child was me when I was in elementary school. Sometimes it’s still me now even though I am a junior in high school. I was always picked on when I was little and I still am now – probably because I’m a lot different than other kids. I am more of a tomboy redneck who doesn’t like to be all girly, a person who’d rather be in a pair of Levi jeans and a t-shirt than in stiletto heels and a blouse.
When I was in 6th grade, at the very end of the year I got a note from some girls that I thought were my best friends. In this note they told me that if I talked to them or even tried to speak to them again I was going to be sorry and that I was going to get hurt. I was heartbroken. I didn’t understand why this had happened at all. I look at this incident as the reason I still have trouble truly trusting people.
Of course, maybe some problems occur because of gender. Students in this school know that some of the worst conflicts and examples of bullying occurred with the female population. Females can hold grudges for a lifetime. Go home and ask your mom or aunt or even your grandmother if there is some girl she didn’t like in elementary or high school and still doesn’t like now. I’ll bet she has a ready answer.
I often wonder why is it that females are the ones that hold the worst grudges and often are the ones that are the ringmasters of bullying situations. I know that grudges aren’t always because of bullying, but are often because of conflicts. However, conflicts can sometimes grow into bullying situations.
I hate to admit that I find that when another girl offends me I think about the offense for a long time and plot until I can get back at her. It’s no wonder men say that women are very complicated. I completely agree with them. We females may be attractive and elegant on the outside, but if someone crosses us, we can become anyone’s worst nightmare.
When you observe two men in a conflict, normally the situation becomes physical pretty quickly. But the next day those same two guys can come to school or work and be the best of friends. It’s as if fighting each other created some kind of bond, giving them a newfound respect for each other.
However, when two females engage in a physical fight, normally the aggression is a sign that mind games haven’t worked and all patience is spent. Females seem to enjoy dragging out the torture of our perceived enemies rather than rushing into battle to crush them. It’s like an intricate and devious game of chess: we position all of our pieces and wait for the right time to strike.
Truth be told, though, my observations still can’t justify bullying another human being for any reason at all – even if it seems as if it’s a natural tendency. If we didn’t know it before this school year started, we should all realize it now – bullying can cause very painful scars, not just physical ones but mental ones as well. I know this truth not just because of what I’ve seen but what I have experienced myself. Name calling and other forms of mental bullying can cause worse scars than meeting someone behind the cafeteria to fight.
Bullying will always occur no matter how many rules school systems create. I am not saying that all the bullying rules and policies are failures. I am simply stating that whenever you get children together of all different ages, races, religions and family situations, bullying is a natural reaction of children. Sadly, I have observed throughout my life that children are the cruelest people on the planet when it comes to judging other children.
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