Grinding through the restaurant hassle 
by Dan Rzewnicki, Staff Writer
March 25, 2010
Why is it that, unfailingly, no fast food restaurants have Coke if you ask for that or Pepsi if you ask for that? They always have the opposite. Restaurants, sometimes they really grind my gears.
It also seems to me that fast food restaurants use the people with the worst communication skills for the drive-thru lines and registers. I can understand some newborns and fish better than these people. Some talk so quietly that you may as well be talking to a mute. Others talk so fast that it seems fifty words spew out every time their lips part.
At some restaurants it seems the restroom is hidden away for no one to use. First, it takes forever to find a server to give you directions to the restroom, and then once you begin your quest, you find that the restroom is light years away. You see a sign that leads you down a hallway, then another sign down another hallway and through a door onto a wooden rope bridge over the candy cane forest, and finally through a trap door. Then, unfortunately, your quest leads you to a restroom just as dirty as any other public restroom.
Next are napkins. Some restaurants give you enough napkins to clean your car, your house and your hands until the day you die and then your coffin after that. Others, however, give you one measly napkin. And when there’s just that one napkin, it’s guaranteed that you will undoubtedly spill your drink all over it rendering it useless for the buffalo chicken wings with extra ranch dressing and wasabi sauce.
Restaurants should decide on a universal comfortable temperature. Some keep it so cold that it could freeze a lumberjack’s beard before he even cuts down one sapling. Others keep it so hot that after five minutes you are sweating like a hooker in church.
Last are the servers. Why is it they always know to talk to you at the wrong time? There is no need to ask fifty times if the food is good, especially if they are going to ask every time you have a giant mouthful of food, something they always do. Others also seem to treat you as if you are much younger than you really are. There is no need to ask a 16-year-old if he needs the kids’ menu and his drink in a Sippy cup. That, my friends, really grinds my gears.
[comments] |
| Dan masters humorous imagery |
Posted by "Jolynn Young" on April 14, at 8:32 p.m.
The sheer imagery of a restaurant's temperature being "so cold that it could freeze a lumberjack’s beard before he even cuts down one sapling" or "so hot that...you are sweating like a hooker in church" made me laugh out loud. Another excellent column, Dan! |
| I can relate |
Posted by "Mary Miskinis" on April 14, at 8:29 p.m.
Dan, I love reading your articles! They are so funny and I can relate to every one of them. I hate whenever I am at a restaurant and it is either freezing or really hot! The mouthful of food whenever the waiter comes to check on you is so true! Good job! I can't wait to see what you write next. |
| Restroom quest? |
Posted by "Angela Olshansky" on April 13, at 9:36 p.m.
I totally agree with almost everything you said, especially about the fast food restaurants. However, this bathroom quest you speak of, I've never encountered one, but maybe we aren't going to the same restaurants. Keep up the good work, Dan. I love reading all of your articles! |
| Let me eat in peace |
Posted by "Joe Predebon" on April 9, at 8:35 a.m.
I would have to agree with the drink issue except I only drink root beer which all restraunts seem to have for some reason.Furthermore, I also find it annoying when waiters do not treat us like adults and hassle us. All their annoyance and bothering me while I try to eat the hot food without any problems only ends up with my leaving a small tip. |
| Do all waiters have poor timing? |
Posted by "Kelsey Warrick" on April 8, at 10:27 a.m.
Dan! Yet another amazing article! Every time I read your articles I find myself literally laughing out loud. You have an amazing way of making aggravating situations hilarious. It's so true how the waiters always ask how your food is whenever you're chewing a huge piece of it. Obviously it's good if I'm stuffing my face! |
| 'Grind My Gears' = Awesome |
Posted by "Garrett Miller" on March 31, at 10:32 p.m.
Dan, these grind my gears articles are awesome. You better keep writing these the rest of the year and next year. I agree with everything you said, especially the napkins part. I'm not the cleanest eater in the world, so a guy like me needs a decent number of napkins. |
| Anxiously waiting for Dan's next blog |
Posted by "Kristen Miskinis" on March 31, at 8:19 p.m.
Dan, I love the article! You are such a great writer. I enjoyed reading it. I can't wait to read your next one. |
| What about Dr. Pepper? |
Posted by "Kyle Snyder" on March 30, at 2:21 p.m.
Dan, I love reading your articles. I always get a kick out of them. I agree 100% with this article, but I'm not a big Coke or Pepsi fan... I'm all about the Dr. Pepper and there are only 3 restaurants on earth that actually have Dr. Pepper. And that always grinds my gears.
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| How do you know . . .? |
Posted by "Tom Dubovi" on March 30, at 12:35 p.m.
How would you know what a hooker in church sweats like? I'll have to ask your parents how you know. I'm glad the hooker is in the church repenting though.
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| Enjoying Dan's humor |
Posted by "Kaylyn Zeff" on March 30, at 8:22 a.m.
Dan has another winner here. I can totally relate to everything he says, especially the part about servers. Keep up the amazing work.
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| Hot and cold on restaurants |
Posted by "Sara Anderson" on March 29, at 8:48 p.m.
Dan, your articles never disappoint me. What you write is very entertaining, especially "sweating like a hooker in church." It's also very true. I'm always either freezing or dying of heat. There is never a happy medium. I look forward to what you write next!
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| The other side of the restaurant story |
Posted by "Emily Bing" on March 29, at 7:40 p.m.
Sometimes the fast food restaurants may have poor communication, but they are trying to do a lot of jobs. The fast food restaurants are constantly hiring people so not everyone is comfortable with talking to each other when they first start working. The fast food restaurants are a hard place to work. Not many people realize how much it takes to get everyone's order together when the restaurant is really busy.
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| Restaurants grind her gears too |
Posted by "Jen Shannon" on March 29, at 1:37 p.m.
This article is hilarious. I agree with everything, except maybe the restroom quest. However, one thing that holds true is the waiter talking at the wrong time. I always have a mouthful of food and have to rely on the person I am with to respond for me. These issues also grind my gears.
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| Inside look at restaurants |
Posted by "Natalie DelVecchio" on March 29, at 1:19 p.m.
Since I work at a fast food restaurant, I know what happens behind the scenes. To answer the temperature question, restaurants keep it really cold or really hot so the customers don't sit in the restaurant for a long time. The managers want the customers to come in, eat, then go out. It drives me crazy that my manager always wants me to go talk to the customers. I always tell him that if the food is bad then the customer would've told us.
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| Keepin' the readers laughing |
Posted by "Paula McCorkle" on March 29, at 11:23 a.m.
Dan, I totally agree with you on your article. You always make me laugh, especially this time when you wrote about how hot restaurants were and sweating like a hooker in church. Keep up the excellent articles, Dan! I can't wait to read them every week.
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