Twilight Confessions
by Ashley Mondale, English Teacher
Hello, my name is Ashley and I’m a Twilight addict. (Readers, out loud: Hello, Ashley.)
I’m not ashamed to admit it. Sometimes I get an overpowering urge to do nothing else except read one of the books—or all of them. Or watch the movie, although I have to admit it really isn’t that great. I have high hopes for New Moon. I have lost track of the number of times I have read each book. I can recall, however, a time when I read Twilight at least three times cover to cover in a row. It’s a sickness, and I don’t think the prescription is more cow bell.
Let me clear some things up before we get any further. First of all, I am not a vampire nor do I desire to be one or even really meet one. Secondly, I used to mock those who liked the books, openly. And finally, it often takes all I have not to shop in Hot Topic, spend a good deal of money on every magazine with anything relating to the stars of the movie, or scan YouTube for hours viewing movie clips, bogus trailers, or fanatical slideshows devoted to the characters. Now, please do not think I am making fun of those of you who do indeed do these things. My problem is that I am 27, and I really can’t allow my obsession to rule my life (also, I won’t fit into the clothes from Hot Topic)—believe it or not, I have a job and a real life.
I did not start out as a Twilight junkie from the beginning. In fact, I never read any of the books until last Thanksgiving (we’ll get to that a bit later). The summer Breaking Dawn came out I worked at the café in a Borders. The store hosted a huge Breaking Dawn release party, and I wanted nothing to do with it. My sister has a friend (let’s call her Penelope) who is 23 but is, at times, mentally stuck in middle school. That summer we were all at the movies and Penelope forced us go to Borders to pick up a copy of Eclipse because she hadn’t read it yet. She spent the whole car ride home reading in the back seat. If she was into these books, I didn’t want anything to do with them.
Then the movie was about to come out. The previews looked good, and everyone here at school was talking about the books. Everyone I talked to praised the books. So because I am a big believer in reading a book before I see the movie, I decided to buy the books to read before seeing the movie. I went to Barnes and Noble (which, in my opinion, is a thousand times better than Borders) and bought the complete series as a box set. The books should have come with a warning label like the ones you find on cigarettes. Warning: Reading these books may cause extreme obsessions and an uncontrollable need to continue reading and re-reading over long periods of time. I was itching to read, but I had essays to correct and classes to teach. Sadly, those things could only be avoided if I wanted to get fired.
I would like to blame my aunt and uncle for the events of last Thanksgiving break, but really there is no blame because it was the greatest Thanksgiving ever. You see, my aunt and uncle went to my cousins’ in Atlanta, and I was house- and dog-sitting for them, leaving me hours of uninterrupted alone-time to read. And so I did. I started reading Twilight on Friday morning. My plan was to read for a while, get ready, and hit the mall for a little Black Friday shopping. That was the plan, but that never happened. I started reading and couldn’t stop. I hated that I had to go back to my house for dinner with my family. They were ruining my reading time! I finished Twilight in less than 12 hours. I was tired, but I couldn’t stop. I needed to keep going. I had read the back of the books and knew enough to know that Edward left Bella. My heart was racing. My palms were sweaty. I was possessed! I just kept reading.
Before the end of Thanksgiving break, I read every book at least once and was finishing my second reading of each book. I couldn’t believe that I was this into these books. I didn’t want anyone to know how seriously I was addicted. I had never read books like these before, and I had never read books over and over like this. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love to read—I’m an English teacher for goodness’ sake. I have read books over and over before. My copies of the Little House series are a disgusting yellow color and the paperback covers are held on with old, peeling pieces of Scotch tape. I read those books countless times, but I read them over a course of years—not a weekend. I have read Pride and Prejudice numerous times, but again, that happened over the many, many years. There are countless other books that I have read so many times the stories are burned into my brain. But the Twilight books are different, and I have two main reasons that I love them as much as I do.
The first reason is a nerdy reason. To begin with, I greatly appreciate Stephenie Meyer’s ability to get kids to read. I never remember teenagers being so into a book or set of books. I also love the allusions that Meyer makes to other great pieces of literature. If you didn’t know (but surely you do as a true Twilight fan), Twilight was inspired by Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, New Moon has connections to Romeo and Juliet, and finally, Eclipse references Wuthering Heights. In Breaking Dawn there is a small, but important allusion to the nursery rhyme of Humpty Dumpty. It is the perfect metaphor for what is happening. Go back and reread it yourself. Finally, I love the words and the way they flow together. The descriptions are beautiful, and the situations present themselves in a way that is believable. Really, once you overlook the vampire thing, the story is believable.
That leads me to my second reason; I’m a romantic. I believe in love—great love. Maybe this type of love only exists in the pages of a book or on a movie screen, but I want to believe it can happen in real life. The Twilight saga is a story of a love so powerful and so wonderful that I find myself jealous of Bella Swan. I once read a review of New Moon where a male critic commented that the book was anti-feminist because of the way Bella falls apart when Edward leaves. This critic blasted Meyer about the message she was sending adolescent girls about dealing with break-ups and the need for boyfriends. I found this review appalling. Had this man ever been a teenage girl he would know how crushing a break-up can be and how at the time you cannot imagine a life without the guy who broke your heart. I’m sad to say that break-ups do not get any easier with age or experience. But Bella and Edward are more than just boyfriend/girlfriend. They are more than a crush. They are a life; Bella even says she went into her weird zombie phase because to her, her whole life ended. And as we grow and learn that the life we planned may not turn out the way we anticipated, it is life-altering. It is hard to get up and go through the motions of your everyday life when that everyday life is such a reverse of the way it used to be.
But there is hope, and that is what I love about Twilight. You can be happy. Yes, you may have to sacrifice a bit (thinking splitting holidays between parents or not always playing Call of Duty on Fridays), but I think that maybe that is a part of love. I do not think you need to alter yourself for anyone. I am certainly not suggesting that you need to completely change who you are for love (no one really wants to be a vampire, for example). Love is about accepting people for who they are. So if Bella can accept the fact that Edward wants to drain her of blood, surely someone might be able to overlook the little flaws we see in ourselves.
And so I read on in perfect happiness, but for now I’m off to see New Moon for the umpteenth time!
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